Feel the Fear and Use it

When I put this picture on the blog, I had to stop my heart racing. To most of you, it is just a picture of a tunnel but to me it signifies everything I fear: blackness and small spaces and crowds. It's a problem that has seen me refuse to use the London underground, visit caves or basically go anywhere with no natural light or the potential to be trapped in darkness.

Unlike some people with claustrophobia, I can pinpoint the exact moment my problem started. I was very little and had arrived in France for a holiday with my parents. I'd fallen asleep in the car and been carried into the gite we were staying in and put to bed. When I woke in the middle of the night, the room was dark... in fact it was so pitched black it felt like I could touch it. I remember holding out my hand to try to push it aside. My first thought was that I had gone blind, swiftly followed by the fear that maybe I had died.

Still thinking I was in my bedroom at home, I got out of bed and felt my way around the wall to where the door should have been but it wasn't there and neither was the light switch. I can feel the mounting panic even now, over forty years later. Of course, I know now that the reason the room was so dark was because the French shutters on the windows had been closed so that no light was able get in. To this day, if I am staying anywhere away from home, I have to make sure that the there is at least a chink of light coming into the room through the curtains.

Fast forward thirty years and I am on a tube train with my sister. It's rush hour... it's hot... the train slows... then stops... the lights flicker.

I won't tell you more because it would spoil it for anyone wanting to read my latest story, 'Out of the Dark', in The People's Friend Special. The story came about because I was determined to take my fear and turn it into something positive. I decided to write about what would happen if someone like myself were forced into a situation where they had to confront their worst fear.

I'm pleased with 'Out of the Dark' because I was able to take the essence of my fear and use it to help write the important scenes, such as the one at the tube station. 

Interestingly, the story itself is a big departure from what you might expect from a People's Friend story. There are no cosy kitchen scenes or kittens - just someone trying to overcome a fear to help someone they love. There is also another reason this story is different from the norm but I can't tell you that either without spoiling the ending. Never underestimate the type of story this magazine will accept.

Claustrophobia can still be a problem for me at times (just ask my husband) but I am trying to manage it and I think I am a little better than I was but the moral of this story is to think of something that has happened to you that has caused extreme emotion: fear, hate, jealousy, sorrow and use it to bring your stories to life. You'd be surprised at how affective it can be.

On a lighter note, I have a very exciting announcement. My second collection of short stories, The Last Rose, will be published on 2 March  and everyone is invited to the launch party on my blog next Monday. It will be open house all day and there will be music, good food and the chance to win a free paperback. Hope to see you there!

My Fabulous Star of the Chateau Makeover

What an amazing Valentine Weekend I've had!

It all started last December while visiting my daughter in Hamburg. I switched on my phone to find that I had won a competition I'd entered on book blogger and reviewer Tay Pickering's website, Chicks that Read. It was to promote the lovely Karen Aldous' new romance, The Chateau, and the prize was a makeover with Karen's daughter celebrity makeup artist Gemma Aldous.

You can imagine my excitement. The first thing I did was to look at Gemma's website where I was overwhelmed by the number of the A-listers she had done the makeup for. It was certainly going to be a challenge for her to turn me into the star of the chateau - especially as my only sight of a red carpet had been when I'd spilt wine on it!

My only problem was going to be the whole 'Getting to London' thing.Those of you who are regular readers of my blog will know that I'm not a great traveller and this is where my lovely husband came to the rescue. In fact he proved to be very deceitful – but in a good way! He couldn’t think of anything to get me for Christmas so decided to combine my prize with a weekend away. He got in touch with Karen and asked if the makeover could be linked in with a Valentine Ball at Gray’s Inn he wanted to take me to so that I had somewhere to go to show off my make-up. Not only that, but he also booked for us to see War Horse the following day, so the weekend became a very special one indeed. I didn’t find out about all this until Christmas day!

To say my weekend was amazing would be an understatement. Karen, her husband Glyn and Gemma met us at The Royal Horseguards Hotel, where we were staying, for a lovely lunch and then the men left us so that we could start the highlight of my weekend - the celebrity makeover. The beautiful view of the Thames from the window (and a bottle of Prosecco) set the scene and soon Gemma was opening her very large suitcase of cosmetics. The first thing Gemma did was to ask me what type of make up I usually wore and what I liked. I said that I was happy for her to make all the decisions as long as she could find me some cheekbones!

Without a mirror, I could only guess what was happening, but I know it involved a lot of brushes! It was fabulous to feel so pampered but I was a teensy bit apprehensive to see the results as the last makeover I'd had had ended up in my looking ten years older and resembling a clown. How silly of me! I'd forgotten that Gemma had made up the likes of Pixie Lott, Emeli Sande and Sheridan Smith. After curling my hair she said, "You can look now."

What I saw nearly made me fall off my chair. Kylie Minogue was staring back at me... how had she done it! My husband has always liked Kylie but there was no way that Gemma could have known that. I couldn't wait for him to come back to see the results!

 
"Who do I look like?" I asked when he came in.
"Kylie!" he replied picking up his jaw which had dropped to the floor.

Not surprisingly, we had a great Valentine Ball and then the following day, which was Valentine's Day, we went to see War Horse which was quite stunning.

 

 So I owe a huge thank you Karen, Tay and Gemma for such a wonderful prize and of course to my husband for making it the best Valentine's weekend ever. If you would like to find out more about my celebrity makeover, Karen has interviewed me on her website. You can read it here.

 

Click here to purchase The Chateau by Karen Aldous

How's the Novel Going?

Okay, okay, I can't dodge the question any longer.
What question? I hear you ask.
The one referring to the thing that starts with N and ends with L.

I blame Tracy Fells of course. To be honest, I thought I'd got away with it as we had been sitting in the cafe talking for nearly two hours about the usual writerly things and she hadn't brought the subject up. Then just as we were about to pay for our teacakes (yes it's that time of the month again) and leave the café, she did.
,
"How's the novel going?"

At first I pretended not to have heard, but Tracy knows me too well and was not going to let me get away with it that easily. My target was to write at least 2,000 words of the novel a week, so the question she wanted to know was had I managed it?

"Well..." I said. "It's like this..."

Tracy cut in. "Don't tell me. You haven't had time because of your dancing, zumba, dog walking... oh, wait a minute that's it, Bonnie ate it!"

Very funny.

In actual fact my excuses for not having reached my target that month, and having only reached 12,000 words in total, were rather better than that and perfectly true: I'd had a serial to finish and a new collection of short stories to prepare for publication (watch out for it early March), I'd got stuck when I realised I hadn't planned the novel out properly and I'd changed the tense and viewpoint about ten times. You see, I'd been very busy!

The look on Tracy's face, though, told me all I needed to know - she was having none of it. I bowed my head. "I promise to do better next month Tracy."

"You'd better, or there will be no teacakes."

Now that is a threat (and one I think I've heard before) so this last week I've been setting aside more time for the novel. I wrote another chapter and managed to get a better idea in my head of where my characters were heading. I thought I was doing well then, out of the blue, I had a crisis of confidence - how could I be sure that what I had already written would have the makings of a readable novel?

The breakthrough came when someone gave me the following piece of advice (if I could remember who, I could thank them). They suggested I send what I had written to my kindle and read it as a reader would, rather than as a writer. That's what I did this morning and, because I haven't written a great deal, I was able to read it all the way through and the result was very exciting. I found I couldn't wait to find out what was going to happen next. It was the push I needed.

At last I can believe that what I am writing has the potential to be a story that I will enjoy writing and that someone will hopefully enjoy reading ... and I can't wait to carry on!

In other news, I have a story in this week's People's Friend (out Wednesday) and The current People's Friend Special and Woman's Weekly Fiction Special.

More than Words - Inspiration Behind the Story

My husband and I are alike in a lot of ways but in one particular way we are very different... in our choice of cards for each other. I usually choose mine from my local bookshop or arty card shop. They will be quite minimal, often with no words inside and definitely none on the front. I take care when choosing them and the result, I hope, is simple and tasteful.

My husband also takes care when choosing cards for me: birthday, Christmas, Valentines and especially on our anniversary. He reads the words on the front and makes sure that they have the word 'wife' on somewhere and if a heart, fluffy kitten, puppy or flowers can feature as well, then all the better. Then comes the inside - if there isn't some sort of sentimental rhyme inside, then my husband will discard it as unsuitable. An example of some of the cards I have received over the years are shown in the photo.

Now, I don't want anyone to take my post the wrong way because much as I might not chose a card like this myself, I would be devastated if my husband decided to stop giving them to me. I read the rhyme inside, knowing that he has read many more and chosen this one in particular because it is meaningful. I would miss everything about them: the word 'wife', the special messages... even the puppies and fluffy kittens!

This lead me to think about what it would be like if a husband like mine overheard his wife telling her friend that she thought the cards were tacky and would rather one from the art shop. What it he stopped giving them to her and chose a plain one with no rhyme inside? I thought about how I would feel and More than Words my story in The People's Friend was born. The illustration is by Ruth Blair.

The strange thing is, the title for the story was changed but the one they chose, More than Words, was the song that we chose to play at the end of our wedding as we signed the register... now that is spooky.

So, if you're reading this, husband, I expect an especially pink, fluffy card with 'wife' on the front and a slushy rhyme inside on our anniversary in May - or there'll be trouble!

Write About What You Know

The glitter ball sends kaleidoscopes of light across the dance floor. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a cameraman training his lens in that direction. I lean my arms on the balcony and look down at the people sitting at their round tables, waiting expectantly. The band strikes up and my partner takes my hand.

"Shall we?"

I take a deep breath as he leads me down the red carpet and onto the dance floor. This is my Strictly moment. A nightingale is singing in Berkley Square and a couple dressed in their Sunday finery glide past us. For a minute I am Flavia and my partner is Vincent as we step onto the floor.

"What dance is this?"

I am brought back to reality with a bump. "It's a foxtrot," I hiss.

For we are not on the set of Strictly Come Dancing. We are, in fact, at a tea dance at the Waldorf Hotel to celebrate our anniversary; the camera crew are here filming for a series about finding love online and the man by my side is not Vincent but my husband of three years, Ian...

 

This is the beginning of an article I wrote for The People's Friend and, if you bought a copy of the magazine the week before last, you might have read it. In it, I describe how my husband and I met at a salsa class in Lewes and our shared love of dance. Some of you might remember me blogging about the Waldorf Hotel tea dance (mentioned above) in 2013. If not you can read it here.

 

When I first started writing, I remember reading an article by Doug McPherson (you can read his guest post here) in Writer's Forum on writing about what you know. Doug knows a lot about music and circuses, so you can guess what he likes writing about! What good advice that turned out to be - I found that by writing about something I love and know a lot about, half the work had been done for me. 

 

It's also worth remembering that it's possible to get a lot of mileage out of one topic. Dancing is a huge part of my life and, looking back over the last couple of years or so, I realise that as well as the article, I have written and sold seven dance themed stories to different magazines. My first ever People's Friend story was called Dancing Queen and my latest, about a woman who realises a perfect dance partner doesn't necessarily make the perfect partner in life (I beg to differ of course!) will be in this weeks issue. I won't tell you the name of the story as it will probably have been changed.

 

Of course, I write about a lot of things I know little about as well (autism, gardening, sailing, anything historical etc.)  but finding out about it takes time... when I write a story about dancing the research as already been done.

 

I'm beginning to think I've now saturated the market with my dance stories... maybe I should take up golf! 

Six Months to Get a Life - Guest Post Ben Adams

And now for something completely different! I would like you to give a very warm welcome to Ben Adams whose debut novel, Six Months to Get a Life, is being published on Wednesday. I discovered Ben on Twitter back in May and started to read his very humorous blog.

"What do people do when their divorce comes through?" he asked in his very first blog post. 

Well, what Ben did was write a book, a funny one at that, and I think we'll all be very glad he did. Since that first blog post, I've followed his path from new writer to publication and I wouldn't be surprised if he is destined to become the new David Nicholls.

So let's make a start, Ben.

First of all, what made you come up with the idea for Six Months to Get a Life?

I am not sure I came up with the idea really. I think it came up with me. My writing career has had a few false starts. While I was at school I wrote science fiction nonsense that I didn’t dare share with anyone. In my 20s I dabbled with crime fiction but too many hours spent staring at blank pages and a lack of life experiences meant that I couldn’t make my stories sing.

In my 30s I mostly wrote boring work-related web content and the occasional acerbic complaint letter to the council, the Royal Mail, The Guardian and the dog over the road – it defecated on my drive.

And then my 40s came along. Sometimes it takes a life event to set you off on the right track. ‘Six Months to Get a Life’ was ultimately triggered by my own family upheaval. My head was filled with a variety of emotions that seemed to me to be looking for a way to escape. Eventually, I just started writing.

Over the course of the Spring and Summer of 2014, my furious typing eventually moulded itself into ‘Six Months to Get a Life’.

I suspect I already know the answer to this, Ben, but how much of the story is based on your own experience?

To start with, a lot. And then through various moments of realisation (including ‘people will slit their wrists if they read this crap’ and ‘my ex will go ballistic and she would have every right to’) the book evolved. I invented a new ex – one who the principal character, Graham Hope, had met at a sexually transmitted diseases clinic. I invented some new friends for Graham, some totally new scenarios for him to get caught up in and, without giving too much away, I invented a love interest.

Whilst I found it hugely therapeutic to get my own personal emotions out of my head and on to a computer screen, I actually enjoyed writing the made up stuff even more. It made me smile and even laugh out loud at times. OK, I know you shouldn’t admit to laughing at your own jokes, but I just did.

You have probably noticed that I haven’t said anything about reinventing the lead character. That is because Graham Hope is essentially me. I know I won’t sue myself for misrepresentation, so, with Graham, I thought I would stick to what I know.

Graham does his best to have a positive outlook on life, as do I. Graham craves human company, whether it’s going out for a few beers with his mates or something more intimate. As do I.  Graham hates nightclubs and is hopeless on the dance floor. As am I. Graham gets tongue-tied around attractive women, as do I. According to Graham’s ex, Graham has a big ego and a small penis.  Next question.

Moving swiftly on! I know your children have read your novel – what was their reaction?

Um. ‘Six Months…’ isn’t a children’s book. I didn’t object to my youngest (he is 12) reading the book, but I didn’t exactly give it to him to read either. I put a version on to my Kindle to take on holiday to proof-read (don’t worry, it was professionally edited and proof-read too). But what I hadn’t realised was that the book would appear on my son’s Kindle as well as mine.

On about day four of our holiday, I was floating about in the pool when, out of the blue, my son asked me what ‘twerking’ was. It transpired that he had been reading the book for the past few days.

He did read the whole of the book. He recognised bits of me in it, as well as the odd venue that we have been to as a family or the odd event that I had ‘hijacked’ (his words – I prefer to say ‘adapted’). He turned out to be a pretty good continuity editor too, pointing out a few mistakes in that early draft.

At the end of the day, much as it pains me to say it, I don’t think I have knocked JK Rowling off the number one spot on his reading list. And I haven’t even made it onto my elder son’s reading list, but that’s fine by me.

There is a rather disturbing scene in a night club... what’s the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you?

Yes, the aforementioned ‘twerking’ scene. That would never happen to me. No matter how much I have to drink, I would never be seen within ten yards of a dance floor.

This month’s interview with a journalist from a popular international website would certainly be up there on my list of most embarrassing moments. The journalist had told me she wanted to talk to me about the book. Great. Why then, did she spend the whole interview asking me about my personal situation and my attitude to dating?

Questions such as ‘Why did you split up with your wife?’, ‘Have you dated since your separation?’ and ‘After being with your wife for 20 years, are you worried about having sex with someone different,’ were all answered with versions of ‘mind your own business’. I was embarrassed by how little I was able to offer her and won’t be holding my breath to read that particular article, if it is ever even written.

I have to confess I'm rather intrigued to read it now, Ben. Next question - you’ve put a lot of effort into marketing your book- how important do you think this is and any tips as to what you think has worked?

I was about half way through writing the book before I even gave a thought to marketing. I was under the impression that if you write the killer book (here’s hoping anyway), it will fly off the shelves. End of.

I now realise that you might write the killer book, but unless you invest money and particularly time in promoting it, it won’t even make the physical shelves. Instead, it will languish in a dark corner of Amazon’s behemoth of a website, undiscovered by anyone except for my mum.

I loved writing the book, but my goals go beyond writing something. I want people I have never met to read it. I want to make my mark on the world. What have I done to turn that goal into a reality? Well, I have jumped into social media with both feet. I didn’t do twitter and was only an occasional Facebook user before my author journey began. I now tweet, have a blog and an ‘author platform’ (I am still not entirely sure what that means).

 The most valuable activity I have undertaken over the past few months though has been the networking with fellow authors on social media, meeting friends who have ‘been there and done it’. Wendy is one such author who I am indebted to for her willingness to share.

One lesson that comes out loud and clear from the author networks is that you won’t sell your book without reviews. I have spent much of the past month pitching my book to bloggers. The book launches this week. Hopefully the promised reviews will flood in over the coming days.

 In addition to my own work, I am still hoping that my publicist secures some much needed media coverage. My own hard work will only take me so far…

Now let's get down to the nitty-gritty. If Six Months to Get a Life was made into a film (and I shall be expecting seats at the premiere) who would you imagine playing the part of Graham?

As I have said, Graham is pretty much me. So I’m thinking Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp or Jude Law… Cough.

Finally, publication day for ‘Six Months…’ is nearly upon us. What’s next for Ben Adams?

A pint of beer, a quiet smile to myself, and then it’ll be back to writing. I am already well into my second book, ‘Six Lies’. Hopefully it will be out by Christmas.

Thank you, Ben for a very enjoyable (and amusing) interview... I hope you will remember me when you are famous!



Graham Hope had it all – a wife, two perfect children, a detached house in the suburbs and a huge TV.

He now has an ex-wife, lives in his parents’ spare room and gets the kids and the dog at weekends.
He might be lost and lonely, but Graham is not a victim. Six months from today he will be forty-three. He vows to sort this mess out by his birthday. He gives himself six months to get a life.
Will Graham play a meaningful role in his boys’ lives?
Will his mates take him under their wing?
Will he move out of his childhood home?
More importantly, will he ever have sex again?
For Graham, failure is not an option.


You can read  extracts from six Months to Get a Life here 

You can buy Six Months to Get a Life here

Author Biography

Like a lot of people, Ben went to school, then college and eventually grew up and got a responsible job, a house and a family... and then his mid-life crisis kicked in.

Realising that life was in danger of becoming all too serious, Ben started writing. Not in the way that Forest Gump started running, but at least he started. He wrote on steamed up mirrors in the bathroom to make his children smile. Eventually he graduated to making up stories to entertain his kids at bed-time.

Ben now concentrates on writing stories for grown-ups. He writes for people who have lived, loved, worked, strived and suffered – people like himself. People like you.

Ben lives in southwest London with his two boys, his dog and his constant stream of girlfriends. He dreams a lot too.

Contact Ben

Website: here  Facebook: here Twitter: @benadamsauthor

Writing Targets 2015

It's that time of year again. Two weeks ago, I looked at my 2014 writing goals and discussed whether or not I had achieved them. This week I shall be setting in stone (or on screen) the goals I talked through with Tracy at our teacake session... were we really in the tearoom three hours! You can read Tracy's own goals here.

So (deep breath) here are my 2015 writing targets:

1. Continue to write one short story a week.

2. Write at least 40,000 words of my novel by August to enable me to submit something for the RNA New Writers' Scheme critique (I could say write the whole novel but I'm being realistic here). I intend to try to write at least 500 words of it on at least four days a week - this way, it won't seem a chore. I'm hoping I'll write more but we'll see. Can I say I'll start next week, Tracy? *hangs head in shame*

3. Go to the RNA conference. Although it may seem a small goal, it is a big one for me - for reasons I have given in this post. I've already printed out the form and it should be in the post tomorrow.

4. My final goal is to publish at least one more collection of my published magazine stories. I've been thrilled with how well Room in Your Heart has been received and have been asked many times whether I'll be doing another collection. This is already in progress and my second collection will be available soon... so watch this space.

I hope my 2015 goals are manageable but I've learnt from last year that I need to be flexible. If there's something that's not working then I'll change it. After all, targets are just that... something to aim for.

In other news I have a story in the People's Friend Special. It's a historical story about a quarryman's family and is once again set against the backdrop of the Lake District's beautiful pikes. The illustration is by Michael Thomas.

Also, I've just heard that my first People's Friend serial (written a year ago) is in the process of being illustrated by the very talented David Young, which might mean that it may be published soon. Can't wait!