Monday 28 October 2013

How Big is Small?

This is one of three new items of furniture we have just bought for our bedroom from a well known store. The email said that the furniture would be delivered, assembled and the packaging taken away.

When the items were delivered, they were placed in my bedroom and the delivery men turned to leave.

"Aren't you going to assemble them?" I asked.

"No, we're just the delivery men." And then they left.
,

The boxes said 'Very Heavy' and stated that two people would be needed to construct the furniture.

I opened a box and got out the instructions - how hard could it be?


This hard... Help!

I'm not very good with visual instructions. You know the ones that say attach A to B using C.

I'm afraid I didn't get any further than looking at the page.


Luckily my husband is not only good at creating timelines, he is also good at putting together furniture and decided that as my step-son was staying, it would be a good opportunity to teach him some important skills (ones that I am obviously lacking). As you can see from the photograph, they did a great job but it took them ALL DAY!.



And then they did this with the polystyrene packaging!


We finally checked the email again to see there was an asterisk beside the statement saying that they would deliver and assemble the furniture. The small print said that they would not assemble 'small items'.

My question to you is... Would you call three large chest of drawers small? There may be an idea for a story here.
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24 comments:

  1. Teresa Ashby28 October 2013 at 12:31

    I had a go at assembling furniture once. I started with a drawer - completely messed it up, had a major hissy fit, spat out the dummy and left it to the males :-) And no, I don't think I would call those small items. A small item is a little shelf unit! :-) x

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  2. Sherri28 October 2013 at 12:33

    My husband refuses to buy (or let me buy) anything self-assembly as we're both so useless at it. But you don't expect to see that in the small print - which was cleary much smaller than the 'small' items you had delivered!
    My story 'Flat Pack Life' was runner up in Sophie King's competition last year, but was unpublished then, so I'm still hoping one of the mags will buy it!

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    1. Wendy's Writing28 October 2013 at 12:58

      I think you will have to change your heroine's name to Wendy, Bernadette.

      Delete
  3. Amanda28 October 2013 at 15:58

    I was going to say, 'There's definitely a short story there somewhere!', and then I read Bernadette's comment and was proved right instantly! :-)

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    1. Wendy's Writing28 October 2013 at 16:21

      Ah, you see we can all spot a good one, Mandy.

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  4. Amanda28 October 2013 at 16:01

    I was about to say, 'There's got to be a short story there', and then read Bernadette's comment as was proved right instantly. :-)

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  5. Frances Garrood28 October 2013 at 16:11

    No (in answer to your question).

    PS I wrote the story years ago! The heroine married the delivery man (Woman's Realm, I think, circa...well, never mind).

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    1. Wendy's Writing28 October 2013 at 16:22

      Does this meant the story has a 'well worn theme', Frances?

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    2. Frances Garrood28 October 2013 at 21:47

      Realm never talked of WWTs, Wendy. Thank heavens!

      The story was called Male Order (cringe).

      Delete
  6. Lynne Hackles29 October 2013 at 07:31

    My story was called Flat Pack Divorce and was in Fast Fiction, Australia.
    Loving the trendy polystyrene structures. Can I put in an order for the large triangle one? Or would it be a build it yourself project?

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    1. Wendy's Writing29 October 2013 at 07:39

      Wow! I could run a competition titled 'Cheesiest flat pack furniture story title'. Only problem is there would be too many winners! Husband says you can have modern polystyrene structure for £5000 but it will take two very skilled men to construct.

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  7. TracyFells29 October 2013 at 15:20

    Shame Jackie mag no longer around, Wendy, as with your photos you could write one of those photo stories! Thanks for making me chuckle :)

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    1. Wendy's Writing29 October 2013 at 17:18

      I used to love reading Jackie, Tracy. I'd forgotten about the photo series.

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  8. Roland Clarke29 October 2013 at 16:15

    Had one of those 'small items' that was even bigger - still had to assemble ourselves... well, actually mainly my wife. But then I'm disabled...

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    1. Wendy's Writing29 October 2013 at 17:24

      I think you had a perfectly acceptable excuse not to assemble your furniture, Roland. I on the other hand had only my incompetence to blame!

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  9. Rosemary Gemmell29 October 2013 at 19:25

    Definitely not a small item, Wendy! We were just talking about this subject the other evening when discovering husband and daughter are alike with instructions. - i.e. they don't read them! The only way I could ever make up anything like that is by following them exactly, but I'd always avoid it if possible.

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  10. Patsy30 October 2013 at 17:35

    I wouldn't have considered that a small item, no.

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  11. Jenny Woolf31 October 2013 at 09:28

    Good grief! What do they normally sell that is a large item? Lifesize models of the Titanic? :) Just wondering which store it was, are you free to say? I have had some bad experiences with IKEA...

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    1. Wendy's Writing31 October 2013 at 13:29

      It was NEXT, Jenny, but I have to say I love their furniture so I'll forgive them.

      Delete
  12. penandpaints1 November 2013 at 13:48

    Ooh, small print, doesn't it make you fume?
    I love the polystyrene display, I think they could market that!

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