I wrote the text below, to help a friend's daughter who is studying for the Literacy Skills Test (which she has to pass to become a teacher) and I thought that this is something that some writers might find useful.
How many 'redundant' words or phrases can you find? I will post the answer, with the redundant words highlighted, in a later post.
Memo to Teachers about Forthcoming Theatre Trip
It is essential that we plan ahead. The school party will
leave for the station at 11.45 a.m. in the morning not 12.45. This was an
unexpected mistake.
Although the theatre will be filled to capacity - as our
visit comes at a time when pupils from language schools visit London - the
theatre manager has said that as we are specially invited guests, they will add
an additional row of chairs for our students. This is an unexpected surprise.
We have made a definite decision to travel by train but at
the present time, we are not sure how we will make our way from the station to
the theatre, but we are in close proximity to the bus stop and so might make
use of the local bus service. We will be merging together our two groups before
continuing our journey.
During the course of the interval, as an added bonus, the
theatre has promised to provide refreshments and each child will be given a
free gift of a programme at the end of the performance. When the play has
completely finished we shall be leaving from the King Street entrance (in case
any parents wish to meet their children). It is absolutely essential that
parents let the school know if this is to be the case. Looking at the past
history of these visits, we expect them to be few in number.
If the play runs late, we shall have a difficult dilemma as
the last train back is at 11.45pm. The end result might be that we will miss
this train but as the train has been estimated to be roughly ten pounds cheaper
than hiring a coach, the final outcome, if we changed our mode of travel, would
be an increase in parents’ contribution to the cost of the trip. Pupils might
possibly be back at school earlier than suggested but we will postpone until
later telling parents this.
The theatre trip will be repeated again next year if it is
successful. It still remains a possibility that this could become an annual
trip.
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